A good cry

The other night I found myself having a total mood shift whilst watching Tik Tok videos. One of the videos brought tears to my eyes, it was a voice-over script made for someone experiencing grief. For some reason, I could not shake the sad feeling off. Normally, I’d see a sad video, shake off the feeling and move on to one that was probably funny. This time around, I just couldn’t shake the feeling off and I couldn’t understand why.

I then knew what I was feeling but not exactly why. A little over a year ago, I lost two family members. The pain I was feeling was not just related to their deaths.

Being true to myself, I connected with my speaker and played a playlist of sad Disney songs. When that was not enough, I moved on to my favourite sad YouTube playlist. There I was, bent over on my bed, suffering from period pains and feeling sad for every reason. I felt a sense of heaviness fall on me and cried. The cries took over my body to the point where it was shaking, releasing it all.

I cried and cried and cried. I cried myself to exhaustion. Eventually, I fell asleep. As loud and violent as my cries were, I willed myself to quietly cry so that my flatmate could not hear me. I found that strange because in my mind, I wanted to be held but I didn’t want to burden my flatmate, who also happens to be my cousin. The issue of vulnerability is a story for another day.

While crying I kept trying to think what could have brought these intense feelings forward. I just figured it must be because of a combination of things. The school has been really tough this year. I have not processed the death of my family members. I am hit by random waves of loneliness when I am alone for an extended period of time. I’m sure there are a bunch of other things that I have not taken notice of that brought about the wave of sadness I felt.

After coming to that conclusion, I let myself cry, not that I had a choice as my body has a mind of its own. It is clear that I have been holding onto a lot of things that my body needed to release. I woke up feeling better but not all the way great. I thought I was all crying out but as I type this, I realised that I just put a pause on it.

People normally tell you not to cry because they don’t know how to comfort you, but I often tell my friends that they should cry and not deny themselves the opportunity to cry because it will help them process the pain and heal. Crying is a way of expressing feelings of both happiness and sadness but more so sadness. Crying has many benefits.

Crying tears contain stress hormones and other toxins, it helps release these from the body. This in turn soothes the body, dulling the pain we feel through the release of endorphins which can ‘numb’ the body or the ache after crying. Crying helps with the grieving process; it restores the balance of emotions and thus overall can be a very good thing. After reading this article, I realised the importance of crying and its good effects on the body. As uncomfortable as it was not to have control over my body and to feel as vulnerable as I did, after the cry I am in a much better place. I also realised, again, that I should not try to be a strong person all the time and hold my emotions back because they will eventually explode or overflow, and not in a good way.

It is okay to cry. It is even good to cry, I know this now. However, if you find yourself crying too often then please do not be like me and go and seek help, whether talking to a trusted friend or family member. And if it gets bad then please seek professional help.

Have yourself a good cry.

Love Lolo